I have always struggled with my body. Ever since I was young, I have never felt truly at ease with how I look. Some days I will look in the mirror and think to myself "damn, I look good!" but other days I'll think the complete opposite. I do like to think I live a healthy lifestyle, but because I can see that I do not look like those Instagram models, it is hard to accept the body that I have. Nevertheless, I have made even more changes to my life that will allow me to finally fully love my body some time soon. Do not get me wrong, I am confident in how I look and grateful for it, but we are still human and are allowed to feel insecure at times. So, this post will be dedicated to my body positivity journey.
It really all started when I went to the doctor once when I was very young. I stepped on a scale, the doctor typed the numbers into her computer and the screen flashed "obese +". To this day, that screen haunts me. But, I know I was never that large and the screen was definitely exaggerating. After that visit, I went on a diet and lost some weight. Over the next years, I tried to maintain the diet but it was hard because being so young I did not fully understand body image. I was never really into sports either, mainly because I hated being forced to do something that I did not want to do. I liked to swim though, it meant that I did not have to rely on other people to succeed or that I might be injured because of some stupid ball.
Senior year of high school came along, and that just made everything worse. It was party after party, and the amount of alcohol I was consuming was just not helping my body. By the time I was ready to begin college, I heard the term "Freshmen 15". I had never heard of it but when I found out what it was, I knew I could not let myself gain an extra 15lbs. Instead, I made a promise to myself to do the opposite. So, I began going to the gym and changed my diet once again. By the end of my first year of college, I was able to drop my weight significantly and I was finally starting to feel good in my body.
Over the course of the last few years, my diet and exercise habits have improved and my outlook on my body has improved. But, it is not there 100%. Living on my own means that I get to choose what I eat, but it also means that I have to prepare it myself. When I was in college, it was easy to just pick the cooked vegetables and other healthy foods over everything else. But now, I barely have time or energy to cook a proper meal so I gravitate towards easier meals (still healthy, but do not have all the nutrients my body needs). My realization that I needed to once again update my diet happened when I was in Miami with my friends. I simply did not feel comfortable AT ALL! Everyone around me looked like Roman sculptures, and I did not feel like one. So, I found brand new determination in me to fully commit to my body goals.
When I went back home to Guatemala, I decided to have a "body issue photoshoot" to help me accept and love my body. It was not easy, I took hundreds of pictures and did not like most of them. But, there were a few golden shots where I went "wait, is that really what my body looks like?" and then my confidence began to grow again! It really all comes down to proper flexing and prime lighting, and this is something I am fully aware of. Plus, all the Instagram pictures of models are precisely that. (Plus, most of them fully dedicate their time and lives to their bodies.)
I am allowed to feel down, but that should not discredit all the progress that I have made. Living in a world where social media dictates "beauty
standards" is hard, but we must break those barriers and make our OWN beauty standards. We decide to be happy in whatever body we have, and I find myself always complimenting how beautiful everyone is, no matter their body type. If I can compliment others, then I should compliment myself as well. With that being said, I will end this post with a positive affirmations about myself and I invite you to do the same.
I am confident, I am smart, I am happy, and I am one sexy man!